Erin smiled at that memory. He was right. She did regret rebelling against her parents as she had lost their trust and it had taken her two years and a half to regain it. Her grades had dropped drastically as she spent more time at clubs and parties rather than studying. She had managed to ace her SATs after she realised that she would have a terrible future if she didn't give up her wild streak.
She leaned back onto the dusty seat of the bumper car and smiled dreamily. Good times, her past was. Her future and present? All she could see was drab gray and boring-ness.
Folding her arms behind her head, she stared up at the dusty ceiling, looking at the metal that the bumper cars travelled on. She wondered why she even came to this place. She was drawn to this place as it was her last night here. In New York. She would be leaving for L.A. in a few days to finish her studies in scriptwriting and directing.
Satisfied with being in the bumper car and soaking up memories, she got up and vaulted over the barricade, back into the cool night air. She was twenty-three. A grown woman yet she had never dated nor met with any guys.
She had preferred solitude to the company of friends. In fact, she didn't have many friends. She had only a best friend whom she had lost contact with. She looked at the big rusty roller coaster and shuddered. She still had big fears of heights and roller coasters. That remained from my teenage days, I guess, she thought, grinning slightly.
Humming a gay tune, she laughed out loud with the ecstasy of her carefree days as a teenager and her days of rebellion. She jumped about and giggled, doing air splits and toe touches like a crazy fool.
Over with the sudden adrenaline rush, she plonked down on the bench and titled her head backwards to stare up at the twinkling sky, reflecting her current emotions. Stretching, she turned around and another wave of flashbacks hit her.
This was the third time she had come here. All three times meaning to see him. Chase Pentrule. The quiet, intriguing nineteen-year-old who had from the first moment she saw him, captured her heart. All three times he was there, performing with his band. She would stand in the crowd and smile up at him and he would smile back and it felt like they were the only ones in the world.
After the performance, both of them would hang around the park. Eat. Laugh. Romance.
That night, as they headed down to the beach for a midnight walk, he caught her staring at the carousel dreamily. She would stop and stare at the merry-go-round everytime they walked past but she never voiced her intentions to go on it but he suspected she wanted that so badly.
"You want to go on?" Chase asked, pointing to the merry-go-round.
Blushing as she realised that he had caught her looking, she shook her head. "No, it's okay."
Chase ruffled her hair and wrapped an arm around her waist, gently pulling her to the line for the ride. "Don't lie, Erin," he said teasingly, pecking her forehead lightly. "I've seen you staring at it. Why don't you ever tell me you want to?"
Erin turned a darker shade of red and stared at her toes, shrugging. "I guess...I guess...maybe...I thought...you wouldn't want to," she muttered, staring up at him doubtfully.
"You never try, you never know, dear."
Erin blushed and Chase grinned. He loved her innocence but unlike other men, he would never ever dare take advantage of her. He knew that she would no longer trust him if he ever did and he cared too much about her to let her go. Why? He had no idea. He was just drawn to her.
The line wasn't long and they soon got onto the ride. Erin, unleashing her inner child and the source of all her innocence chose a white horse with pink streaks in it's plastic mane. She climbed up easily enough although she was small for her age.
Chase jumped up onto the horse beside hers, a black one with gold plastic mane. As the carousel started and Erin's horse lurched forward, she clutched the golden pole tightly and eeped. "Are you okay?" Chase asked worriedly.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take her on the carousel. Maybe she just liked the pretty patterns or the lights, he thought, watching her.
She giggled childishly and grabbed his hand reassuringly. "I'm fine. I haven't taken a merry-go-round ride in ages so it kinda scared me for a bit," she muttered, her eyes glittering happily.
Chase laughed and then kissed her hand and she blushed. But. She didn't pull away. She just gave him a bashful smile and faced forward, her hand still in his.
Erin sighed dreamily and she stared up at the large carousel. Upon impulse, she got up and stood on the bench and jumped over the barrier, dusting her clothes as she landed into a heap of dirt and dust. With a triumphant grin, she circled the carousel, looking for the one that she had ridden the very night she had received her first mind-numbing kiss.
She had barely managed to recognise it with all the dust that it was covered in but she did as the one next to it which Chase rode stood out from the rest of the other horses. Filled with childish energy, she hoisted herself onto the horse, the dust and dirt, dirtying the pair of jeans she wore and the dark green hoodie she wore. She was only a few inches taller than the last time she had rode it.
Sitting sideways, she swung her legs as her memories took her backwards once more.
It was her fifth visit to the theme park. She had ridden everything here but the roller coaster. There was no way she was ever going to go on that thing no matter how much someone paid her to do it.
There he was. On the stage once more. Playing the song that he had written for her. It was a slow ballad and it made her shed a few tears with the task she had come here to do.
She stood in the crowd and looked up at him, smiling sadly as he pulled her up onto the stage. He had never done that before and it sent sparks coursing through her body. She almost wanted not to do it. Pinching herself mentally to wake up from the dream she was living, she stayed on the stage till he ended the song. He usually ended a performance with that song as Erin always made it in time just to hear it.
Chase pulled her into a bear hug as the crowd dispersed as he jumped off the stage and lifted her into his arms. "You know, Erin. We might be getting bigger. We've just booked a show down at the Hard Rock Cafe. The owner thinks we're awesome and that we're privileged to be able to perform there."
Erin smiled slightly, her heart thudding with the task that she needed to perform before it was too late and her future, jeopardised. "Chase," she said, stepping in front of him. "I can't be your girlfriend right now."
He was taken aback but then, he smiled. "I knew someday it would come to this."
Now it was Erin's turn to be surprised. "You were?"
Chase gave her one of his I'm-hiding-a-secret smile and slipped an arm around her shoulders. "Walk with me?" he asked, leading her to the beach.
She didn't really much have a choice with him guiding her subtly but steadily. "You were never the one to actually have this rebellion streak going for so long," he muttered, running a hand through his dark brown locks. "You were too good to be able to carry it on for long. Sooner or later, you would realise what you were doing."
He was right. She did realise when her mid-term paper results came back to her and she saw that she was on the verge of failing. She knew exactly why. She was hanging out too much with Carly and her friends. Going to parties. Skipping school. Cutting class. Flirting with boys. Hanging out in the malls. Staying out late.
She didn't have time to study nor did she have time to finish any of her assignments. Her parents hadn't noticed. Yet. But sooner or later. They would and she would be finished. She wasn't going to tell her parents about her results as they knew that she would always score straight A's and that there was nothing to worry about. They had put their faith in her.
When she said she was heading over to Carly's place to study or finish an assignment when she actually was going out to a party or to the mall or to meet Chase, they had trusted her and allowed her to leave.
Tonight, she had confessed everything to them and they had grounded her until she had managed to get into a college with prestige and finish her high school term with flying colours. She didn't blame them. They were right anyway. She had focused on having fun and not preparing for her future.
Chase was only part of it. When she had told them about Chase, they didn't say anything harsh or even scold her. Her mother had shooed her father out of the room and gave her The Talk. Her mother had explained that she didn't mind her dating boys as long as she practised safety and didn't stray from her studies.
"Listen, Chase," Erin said, stepping in front of him when they were away from the crowd and the noise. "I can't be your girlfriend anymore."
Chase raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I heard you the first time."
Erin sighed frustratedly and Chase saw that she didn't want to play games or joke anymore. He could see that this was difficult for her and him fooling around was going to make it worse. "Your parents found you out?" he asked, sympathetically.
Erin smiled sadistically. "No, my brain and conscience did," she said, sitting down on the dry sand. "I received my mid term paper results today and well, let's say that A's weren't present at all. I got guilty as I thought of the way I rebelled and forgot about my studies and had more fun. I told my parents about what I did and now I'm grounded. I don't blame them. It's for my own good anyway, even though I'm already seventeen and a grown adult.
"They didn't yell at me. I'm too old for yelling at but they did repeat over and over again that they were disappointed in me and that I should know better than to neglect my studies. I should know better than to befriend people like Carly. And worse, they gave me The Talk. Do you know how embarrassing it is?"
Chase sniggered but didn't say anything. Erin smiled a little. "I told them about you."
"They asked you to break up with me?"
Erin laughed softly. "Surprisingly, no. I thought I would get a good lecturing from my parents about hanging out with boys and the dangers that it would bring me but there was none. They said that they understood that this was a time in my life where I would be interested in boys. All they wanted was for me to be focused on my studies and they wouldn't mind."
Chase looked at her wonderingly. "You must be wondering why would I want to break up with you even if my parents allowed it."
Chase nodded and Erin laughed. "I want to get rid of this phase and never look back. I want to forget everything and start anew."
"You're getting rid of me?"
Erin didn't dare to meet his eyes. "It's okay," Chase muttered, slipping his arm around her shoulders. "I wouldn't have worked out anyways. I've got my own path and you've got yours. I have a feeling that we would never meet again."
Erin could tell he was dejected. "Don't say that," she said, sadly. "We'll still remain friends. Just not a couple."
Chase smiled. "You still got my number?"
Erin patted her pocket which contained her phone. "Forever and always."
Sitting on the horse, she smiled sadly. Those memories were great but she was kind of happy she had stored them away for a rainy day and ended the relationship. He was right. It would never work out. He had gotten discovered that very year he had split with her. Maybe if she hadn't split up with him, he wouldn't have been discovered.
He had become globally known in the past few years and Erin was happy for that. Oh, who was she kidding? She was practically miserable. She had dated a few guys in the few years after her first breakup but none of them held the passion that she had always found intriguing in Chase.
Her ex-boyfriends all lacked the passion that they had for their studies, their future and sometimes, she thought for her too. They seemed to date her just to get a kick out of dating a goody-two-shoes. She had dropped each of them before she could take it further and get things complicated.
Face it, Erry. Chase was the only one who had ever sparked your interest and captured your heart and you let him go because you wanted to secure your future, her heart said.
Her brain and sensibility countered, If you hadn't let him go, you would never have the reputation you have right now and only be labelled as a groupie to his band.
That sentence of sense plucked and discarded her heart's regret. She didn't want to be a groupie. She wanted to be a lover. Someone she could share her life with, not just sleep with.
As she hummed, she also realised that her memory had propelled something she had forgotten and shoved to the back of her memory storage for her entire life. The song he had written for her.
" I met her eyes and sparkled in her gaze
It shocked my heart, oh, I'm amazed
The words beyonds that innocent smile
Those I heard made everything worthwhile"
And then, it seemed as though she was propelled back to the past and she was there in the crowd. Staring up at the man she loved the most. She closed her eyes and savoured the memory.
He was playing accoustic and his voice was low and enchanting. She could see a few girls in the crowd sigh dreamily up at him and she smiled even wider. He was hers and hers alone. She loved that memory.
Then, a realisation jolted her to the present. He had never played accoustic. Not once had he ever played accoustic. Her heart thudded quickly in her chest. Although she was out of the memory, she still heard his haunting, soulful voice.
She sat up straighter on the horse, the soulful voice growing louder and now, she could hear the strumming of a guitar. Feeling a spark of hope, she called out in a weak and barely audible voice, "Chase?"
There was no response but the strumming and singing grew louder, healing together two broken pieces of her heart. She leaped off the horse and ran to the barricade, peering over it, looking for the figure that she knew would be Chase.
No one else possessed a voice so pure that it could charm the snakes into eating out of his hand. It could also make the world fall in love with him. That's what had happened to her but she didn't regret it. In fact, she was lucky to have at least fallen in love once before devoting herself to her job.
As she spotted the solid figure of her ex-but-unforgotten-boyfriend, she leapt over the barricade and strained her eyes to be sure.
Standing in the bright moonlight, she looked exactly like an angel with her blonde hair falling around her like a halo. His heart clenched tightly in his chest at the sight of her. Oh, how much he had missed holding her in his arms.
His mind took him back to their breakup. He had took it with nonchalance but on the inside he had bled for days. He had succumbed to alcohol to numb his mind and remove the image of her from his memories. It had worked and during that period of mourning, he had written his best songs and plus his gigs, he had managed to get discovered.
In some way, she was be thanked for shooting him to fame. He had taken the breakup hard but he had never forgotten about her.
She was constantly on his mind, haunting his dreams and his every working hour. Eventhough he had tons of girlfriends and was labelled as a playboy for life, he never felt anything more for them other than the sexual tug. He never got attached emotionally.
The last time he did, he had his heartbroken and the very female who had done that was standing right in front of him, looking very much like an angel. The youthful innocence that she once possessed was gone. In it's place, the glimmer of maturity and deep mesmerising depths that spoke of sadness and unfulfiled pleasure.
He had come here to relive those memories that were cast away just to feel the happiness that he once felt. Playing the song that he had wrote for her had added to the joy that he felt as he wallowed in his memories.
He was only in town for a few days for a charity concert and this was one of the few times that he would ever be alone. He had managed to sneak away from the papparazi and his manager with the help of his band members.
"Erry?"
He had spoken the name out loud, the hand strumming the guitar dropped limp to his side. He didn't even realise he had spoken it until she lifted her head in his direction and he saw that there were unshed tears in her eyes.
Without needing to hear her voice, he could make out the words she whispered, "Chase? Is it really you?"
He took a tentative step forward and another till he stood right in front of her. Instantly, her features lit up as she stared up to his eyes. She was still as small as ever but maybe it was also because he had grown some too. "Erin Darling," he whispered as she ran her callused fingers over his face as if memorising his features.
Satisfied with her exploring, she buried her face into his solid wall of a chest and sighed his name. "Chase Pentrule."
Chase ploughed his hands into her silvery hair and gently lifted her face. "You didn't call. You never did," he muttered, depriving her of her response by pressing his lips against hers.
A soft tendril of breath from a moan instantly escaped her lips and teased his as he licked her bottom lip. Pulling away, Erin muttered, "I never called anyone just for no reason. I don't even know why I own a cellphone."
Chase laughed and kissed her forehead and rested his against hers. "I missed you. Eventhough I told myself to let you go, you haunt me day and night. All I think about is you," he muttered.
"Can we sit down?"
Chase's eyes widened with surprise and laughed. "Alright," he said, wrapping an arm loosely around her waist and directed her to the bench that she had sat on earlier.
"You know, I always told myself that I had made the right choice in breaking up with you. If I hadn't, you wouldn't have shot to fame and I wouldn't have been able to be top in the state."
Chase smirked the familiar way and Erin's heart contricted. "You know, Erry, that's true. I wouldn't have been able to right all those sad songs if you hadn't broken up with me."
She stared at him, amused yet furious. "You are still as unbelievably sarcastic and arrogant."
"You haven't changed a bit either."
Erin smiled and then laughed, settling against his chest. "Can I ask you something?" she asked, titling her head backwards to meet his gaze.
"Shoot."
"Why did you come here?"
Chase smiled and absently stroked her hair. "As you already know, I'm in town for a concert and sinced I'm being chased by papparazi and harrassed by my manager, I decided to escape her for peace of mind.
"Also, this place makes me happy everytime I'm here. Memories start coming back and each one of you. Each one makes my heart sing. My pulse leap. My brain throb. This is the one place when I'm the happiest. What about you?"
Erin shifted slightly on his lap and for a moment, he thought she was going to leave but she was just making herself more comfortable. "I'm leaving in a few days. For L.A. I'm pursuing a career in casting there."
Chase sighed deeply and hugged her tighter. "What disadvantages are there to dating a rockstar?" she asked, smiling mischievously.
"The crazy fangirls. The manager who will constantly glare at you especially since she's female. The long practices. Sleepless nights due to composing and writing. Travelling a lot. And the worse, being labelled as a groupie. Unless you become my wife."
"Are you hinting at something, Chase Pentrule?"
"Is it really obvious?"
"Chase Pentrule. I will not marry you till I've secured my career."
"Erin Darling. I was just joking."
Erin snuggled. "Where you going next after New York?"
"Exactly where you'll be."
Erin didn't need to ask where that was. "After that?"
"We begin our world tour in Japan."
Erin sighed against him. "Will you be waiting for me when I return?"
"If you are expecting me to. I will manage to find out if you've been unfaithful to me during your tour."
Chase kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms tighter around him. "I know you will."
The night continued with endless chatter, filling in each other about their lives and ferverish kisses. Chase missed a show and a performance had to be cancelled but his band members did not divulge to his enraged manager on his whereabouts.
Erin sat on Chase's lap with her arms around his neck and his arms around her waist. That's how they were found in the morning, still talking with no thinking of shut eye.
This is Wanderer at her best. Much more interesting than the previous few. She hopes that every one would enjoy reading it as much as she enjoyed writing it.
Lyrics are ripped from a poem written by Sweet Mae entitled Look Beyond. Wanderer modified it a little to suit the story. Original is:
Sparkles in that gaze
Oh, I'm so amazed
The words beyond that smile
Just made everything worthwhile
RieRieKSLyn
