Infatuated With Danger
Of a love that should never have existed yet has been forged. The good has always been attracted to the bad but has the bad ever been in love with the good?
"I'm sorry. I know that this will hurt you but after keeping it in for so long, I need to say it. I'm sorry but-"
Tears threatened to spill as my eyes prickled but I forced them down, determined not to cry no matter what happens. I knew that this would happen sooner or later. We had been very distant lately and he was less open to me and always cancelling our dates. Although I knew it would happen, I couldn't help but feel hurt. Again.
This was my tenth boyfriend and once again, it has not worked out. It hurt, knowing that I could never find the one that I am destined to be with even if it was only through high school. "You're breaking up with me, Hikaru-chan?" I asked softly, meeting his eyes with a defiant stare.
Both of us were far apart from each other on the school grounds. People were walking past us but all I could see was him. It was before school. I had arrived earlier than usual because I had wanted to surprise him as today was our one year anniversary. I thought he would be the one. The one who would finally love me. But I got hurt again. I should have known better.
He didn't dare to meet my eyes, less confirm it. He kept his head down, staring at his shoes. That confirmed it even if his words didn't. "If you are going to be a coward and continue staring at your shoes, fine."
I threw down the present I held in my arms and turned my back on him, determined not to cry till I made it out of the school compound.
"Stupid bastard," I muttered, picking up a piece of debris from the pier and flung it into the ocean.
I had run until I could run no more. I had no either where I was running. Just running. Away from everything that meant to me. School. Friends. Pfft. I wonder if I still have them. I had been so caught up in Hikaru that I must have forgotten about my friends. What a rotten person I am.
Angry at myself, I flung another rock into the ocean, watching it fall flat into the ocean. Sinking, further and further into it's dark depths. Just like how I felt.
I watched the Sun shine in the sky, it's happy warm glow mocking me. I yelled out my frustration as I flung another piece of debris into the ocean. "Stupid jerk! You're just like every other stupid f-ker out there!" I yelled, tears streaming down my cheeks.
This was the first time I had skipped school in a long while. When I had left middle school and entered high school, I was determined to leave my past behind and start anew. I was determined to turn over a new leaf, forgot whatever had happened in middle school.
I had wanted to put dating aside but somehow, I couldn't. I hadn't been as desperate as I was in middle school and only had two boyfriends-minus Hikaru-in my freshman and sophomore year but I couldn't ignore the fact that I needed to feel loved.
I never received it at home as well, my parents couldn't care less about their teenage daughter. That's what happens when your parents are filthy rich and shower you with cash instead of love.
Grudgingly, I took out my purse and began ripping the very thing that made me miserable. I flung the scraps into the ocean as I yelled out my frustration and anger. "God dammit!" I cursed, watching the bits of paper floating on the surface of the ocean. "I hate you, Hikaru! I hate you!"
Sunlight glinted off something shiny from my neck and without thinking, I yanked it off, cutting myself in the process but I didn't think twice about the pain.
It wasn't as if I hadn't been through breakups before but I just couldn't take it anymore. I was upset with myself for being so stupid and desperate. I was mad at God for not allowing me to have lasting relationships. I was mad at Hikaru for breaking my heart. But most of all, I was mad at my parents for not loving me. Not caring about me.
Maybe if I had gotten the love that I craved from home, I wouldn't be desperate to feel loved, to have a boyfriend. Then I wouldn't need to get hurt like this every time. My heart ached and I clutched it.
"Look what we have here, boys," came a low voice from behind me. "A little high school girl screaming profanities."
At the sound of the voice, I turned around, my heart doing flips with fear. The voice screamed danger and as I looked at the group of five before me, it was obvious that they were danger. Yet, there was something that drew me to them. Especially the one in the middle.
Dressed in black skinny jeans, a white fur vest and a white long sleeved shirt. Pretty black-brown hair in messy spikes. Metal dangled from his neck and sunlight glinted off a piercing. Why I was drawn to him, that's something I would never be able to understand. His face was blocked by shadows as the sunlight behind his head blinded me. "She's pretty, Sawa-chan," one of the five said, squatting next to me, a innocent smile on his face.
I scooted away from him but there was another one squatting behind me. I squealed and scooted away into the arms of the less dangerous looking one. The one who squatted beside me sat down on the concrete floor and shot me an irresistibly sexy smile. I knew better than to trust guys like him so I let the innocent looking one hold me since he did have a gentle iron grip around my shoulders.
"Kitsu-chan, I can see that," the one called Sawa-chan replied, teasingly. "A reason why I didn't leave her alone like you suggested."
"But I didn't see that she was pretty from afar!" the one by the name of Kitsu-chan whined, nuzzling his lips against my neck in a playful, childish manner. Nothing suggestive.
His lips came away with blood smeared on them. He licked his lips and eeped. "It's salty," he whispered, looking down at my neck.
Another one squatted down next to me and I tried to shy away but Kistu-chan held me, gently. He was even more dangerous looking that the other one but somehow, I recognised him. "Kana-chan?" I asked, squinting to get a better look at him under all the makeup.
He smirked and held my chin gently in his hand. I wrenched my head away and he clicked his tongue. "You're being bad. We have to punish you."
"Don't touch me!" I shouted, my legs kicking for him to be away from him.
Kanashi. One of the most dangerous students in the school. And also in my class. Devilishly handsome. Exceptionally smart. Bad. Sexy. Gorgeous. The most dangerous of the group of three led by bad boy Sawatari, including the nicest and sweetest of the three, Yoshiro. "Leave her alone, Kana-chan. You're scaring her," came the familiar calm voice of Yo-chan.
"Yo-chan?"
The innocently mature face appeared next to mine and I squealed out of fright. He smiled sweetly. Kanashi, with his hand still on my chin, gently turned my head and licked the blood off my neck.
I yelped with the sudden sparks that coursed through my body from that tiny erotic gesture. Kanashi raised his head and kissed my jaw lightly. I pulled away from him and glared, angrily. I did not like the sensations that he sent through my body. "You taste sweet," he whispering, seductively.
I glared at him and clenched my fists. How dare he do that? He doesn't even know me. Personally, I mean. He hasn't even earned the right to kiss me, less lick me. "Stop scaring the crap out of her. The poor thing's so frightened that she's shaking," came the smooth voice of Sawa-chan. Elegant. Dangerous. Beautiful.
"Shaking with fear? Or shaking with lust?"
"You're sick, you bastard. You Are Sick, you f-king bastard!" I yelled at him, tears of rage streaming down my cheeks.
How dare he do something that excited me so badly? "Well, Mitsuki-chan, I was born a bastard so I think that makes me one," he said, cockily.
I hid my head in Kitsu-chan's arm and cried and he gently patted my back. "Oh, darn it, Kana-chan. You've made her cry," Yoshiro said, running his hands through my hair.
A gentle hand pried my head from the crook of Kitsu-chan's arm and brushed my tears away with the rough pad of his thumb. I pulled my head away and Sawa-chan's elegant voice shushing me followed. A gentle coaxing of his rough hands smoothing my hair from my head made me raise it.
Before I could even say anything, a pair of soft, dry lips pressed against mine and the sparks that Kana-chan had ignited flared into hot, steamy flames. Gentle hands pried Kitsu-chan's hands away and a pair of skinny but muscular arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me into a hard, broad chest.
I moaned softly and the pair of lips above mine formed a smirk. Sawa-chan ran his tongue against my upper lip, prodding me to open my lips. When I did not, he nibbled lightly on my bottom lip, causing me to gasp and that gave him the opportunity to stick his tongue into my mouth.
Larger flames ignited as his tongue ran around inside my mouth, examining and coaxing responses from me. I was helpless in his warm embrace. Every part of my felt like I was on fire. Good fire, of course. I never wanted it to stop.
A tingling and aching pooled in the area between my thighs and I squirmed. It was something new. Something I had never experienced in my life. Never with any of my boyfriends. None had ignited burning flames within me. None had kissed me with such finesse yet was able to make me yearn for more. It was interesting. I didn't want to give it up. Not just yet.
Slinking my arms from where they lay slack on the concrete floor that was warm from the Sun-or maybe something else-around Sawa-chan's neck, I pressed his head harder and he applied more force on my lips, coaxing more tiny flames to spring up from places I never knew could feel so much pleasure.
The best of all, the tingling and aching between my thighs was somehow the centre of all the pleasure shots that ran through my body. I slipped my hand into the long strands that curled just over the collar of his vest and sighed with bliss. They were so soft, silky, almost feminine that I was so absorbed that I didn't notice that I had knoted my fingers in his dark hair.
"Oh, she kisses the playboy but not the sexy one?" Kana-chan muttered, good-naturedly.
"Kana-chan," Yoshiro said, a handsome grin on his face. "You're the playboy. And...the sexy one. Eh, Sawa-chan? I've no idea what he is."
Smiling playfully, Sawatari broke from the kiss and looked up to a smirking Kanashi and a smiling Yoshiro. "Shut up, both of you," he muttered.
"God dammit, Sawa-chan. Could you shut up and just kiss me?!" I demanded, pulling his head back to mine.
"You're feisty," Sawatari muttered, grinning into my eyes, planting feathery kisses across my forehead and down my temple to my cheek and lower to my jaw. "I'm going to make you pay."
"You wish."
"Oh, I'm not wishing. I'm doing."
Kissing lower down my jaw and down my neck, nibbling till he found the spot that would make me moan out load. And he did, earning groans from the rest of them. "Get a room, bitch," Kana-chan groaned, smacking Sawa-chan hard on the head.
"Get your own lady, bastard," Sawatari teased, running his hand through my hair. "This one's mine."
"You're sick, Sawa-chan. Very sick. Disgusting," I muttered, shuddering from the gentle, erotic stroking at the nape of my neck.
"Let's hope you're shuddering from pleasure and not disgust."
I smacked him and he grinned, bringing his lips back to mine but it wasn't long before he travelled lower, leaving hickeys on my skin. "Okay, my innocent eyes do not want to see this," Kitsu-chan muttered, standing up. "I'm heading back to the warehouse."
"I'm in. I'm not going to see this," Yoshiro said, surrenduring.
"I'm disgusted," Kana-chan muttered, ruffling Sawatari's hair.
"You're just saying, Kana," Sawatari said, nibbling lightly on my earlobe.
And that's how we remained till nightfall, though we did make occasional trips to the warehouse where Sawatari's mob of gangsters met up when they were free to fetch blankets and pillows and a sheet to sleep on.
NO! Not that kind of sleep. That kind of sleep comes later when I really trust him.
Right now, we're sleeping under the stars and freezing to death but it's heaven. Blissful. Nothing I've ever felt with my ten ex-boyfriends compares to this kind of joy. I wonder if it is even legal to feel this happy.
Looking back, I wondered if I'd been denying myself all these years. I would look for love in all the obvious places but never in those places where it never would exist. Each time, I would feel complete. I would think 'Wow, someone finally loves me' but I'd never be happy.
This is the first time I had ever felt so high. I felt like I was floating and it wasn't even with the guy that I had imagined. Sure, I had caught myself staring at him a few times in school and when he would return the stare, I felt the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach. It would be a normal reaction to a delicious looking piece of male but nothing more. That's what I would tell myself.
Truth be told, I actually had a crush on him when I was in middle school. He was the only bit of my past that had entered into my present. Maybe I had been denying myself the luxury of falling in love with a bad boy. Instead, finding a boy that would provide me with all the luxuries in life but never would I be loved.
I sat up from Sawa-chan's embrace and smiled up to the stars. They had finally granted my one wish and it wasn't even granted in the way I had hoped it would be but it came true all the same. "Mitsu-chan?" came his groggy voice, smooth and elegant even when it was filled with sleepiness.
"Yeah?" I asked, looking back at his curled up form, his eyes bright from the moonlight.
"Are you okay?" he asked, sitting up and running his hand through his hair.
"Fine. Just fine."
With that, I pushed him back onto the sheet and began tormenting his lips. His response was immediate. Sigh. Beautiful.
This was a lame attempt at writing a story. The original that I had in mind was much, much different than this but the one I had in mind could only be put into movie form and is quite tough to put into story form. Excuse the story. I felt compelled to write something and ended up with this piece of crap. Sigh.
RieRieKSLyn
